On the road where the cars don’t stop going through the night…

I’m bloody knackered, I can’t stop yawing. I got here, Adrian and Sues, about 2 three hours ago, after a 2 hour drive from home. It was pissing it down with rain most of the way, forcing me to drive under the speed limit and increasing my concentration, for which I am now really feeling the effect. Driving in the dark trying not to let your eyes follow the wipers backwards and forwards across the window screen really takes it out of you. I now want to go to bed but mum and sue are gassing, somewhat stereotypically, about the menopause! So I’ve resorted to blogging as a means of removing me from the conversation and giving me something to focus on other than closing eyelids.

Things have been great lately, even with the history essay and late nights. After my history exam on Friday, which I was surprisingly pleased with, Claire took me back home cause after too much fannying around I missed my bus. From then on it was really the start of the weekend, she disappeared again to return after ringing, for a really nice night together, after waffles in the morning we were on our way to Norwich. It wasn’t as productive day as it could have been but it was just really nice to spend the day with each other, a whole day, morning to night! We got ourselves a little present for Valentines Day, Brilliant! We popped over to Marc’s for a couple of hours to catch up and have a bit of a drink, in the evening. It was great to chat to JJ before he disappeared down south again. He looked really well and I can’t wait till Easter when we’re all together again.
In the morning Claire disappeared of to work, leaving me a day to do absolutely nothing. I’d tried to contact the elusive creature Emma but to no avail. So I tidied my room and just relaxed, got a bit bored, but it was great to do sweet F.A. Mum dropped me at Claire’s for a slightly ‘tense’ game of pictionary with Sarah and Lynch, and it was a real good laugh.

This morning we jumped out of bed through on some clothes and headed yet again to Norwich. We got to the hospital early, Claire had her X-ray within 20 minutes and then after 2 hours of waiting for the consultant we got told that he was going to surgery and we would have to come back to another day. To say we were slightly pissed off was an understatement! This resulted in practically missing the whole day of school, so a Chinese and 10 pack of chocolate éclairs was employed to improved our mood!

Things between me and Claire have been really good lately, I don’t know whether because we haven’t seen each other as much as normal or we are making the most of the time we are spending together. I’m finding myself happy even when I’m tired, and when I start thinking about the shit stuff I can manage to work it to the back of my head and carry on. I hope things stay like this… For me life is good… just about…

I pass the time in my room alone...

This week feels very surreal, time just doesn't seem to make sense. This is probably down to the successive late nights and the abnormally high intake of caffeine and sugar. Every hour of it, seems to have been focused on the history exam, the only thing I can remember doing this week is writing my essay, reading quotes, talking about it and thinking it. It feels like an age since I've spent any time with Claire, I think she slept over on Sunday night, or it could have been Monday? I haven't been able to send text messages this week either as my lack of finance has left me with only £0.26 on my phone, this lack of contact with the outside world has left me feeling slightly detatched. I haven't been able to text Claire or Emma or anyone else for that matter, to give me a few seconds to think about things outside of these four walls or the information contained on my laptop screen. At this moment in time I really fancy a couple of things, one is sleep, the other is something else. I just need to zone out.

Fantastic pleasure...

Right its too late at night/early in the morning to be blogging. I'm in an amazingly good, if absolutely shattered mood. I'm just coming of a caffeine high, that I've been on trying to finish my history essay. I have 32 hours till my exam starts, and in that time I have to finish my essay, write my plan and diary, learn my essay and be able to reproduce it word for word, all four thousand three hundred and what ever!

Right bed time me thinks...

I've got troubles of my own...

Well I just had the urge blog, to give something to the masses. I know everyone sits a there PC waiting for me to publish another fantastic excerp of my life... Well I can pretend!

These past weeks been very rough for a lot of people, and I'm here to support you when you need it, even at stupid o'clock in the morning! I'm not going to moan or groan (two key signs of hypothermia). I've got my history essay Thursday and Friday, trust me I'm really really looking forward to the 4 o'clock buzzer Friday afternoon. I'm slightly more relieved to find out that almost everybody has done less work than me, so all I have to do is write my essay, write a plan, learn my essay, then reproduce it in 4 hours... hmmm. Lots of coffee!

Lets begin...

I noticed tonight that the world has been turning
While I've been stuck here withering away
Well I know I said I wouldn't leave you behind
But I have to go, it breaks my heart to say

That I can't stop now
I've got troubles of my own
Cause I'm short on time
I'm lonely
And I'm too tired to talk

And I can't slow down
For no one in town
And I can't stop now
For no one

Emotion keeps my heart on me

This years love better last...

Right well I suppose it time you had a debrief of this weeks events. Monday was a bit dull and uninteresting really. I went to town with mum to buy a shirt and jacket for my up and coming university interviews. I met up with Claire for lunch which I think she was happy about. Sadly I didn't get to see her in the evening as I had to drive to Lincoln for my interview at Sheffield on Tuesday.

Allthough bloody nervous in the morning, by the time I'd looked around the uni and got to my interview I was fine, and I think I even managed to pull of an offer a grade lower than expected. I got home about 8.30, the car just about in one piece. I had time to write Claires valentines card before she arrived at 9.00. It was a really nice evening, and I got a waffle maker out of it so I can't complain! We had a late night after watching a very 'interesting' DVD Claire had ordered, I wouldn't recommend it. Wednesday was good, Claire eventually managed to get it of work so in the 10 days we have of school I got to see her 1 full day. We had a lay-in followed by waffles and in the afternoon we headed to Southwold. It was nice to some quality time together, on our own doing our own thing, its now a rarity in our relationship, something or someone is always governing over what we're doing. Even Wednesday wasn't completely to ourselves as Claire had to go home at 7.00 to leave the next morning for Stafford. I cant remember the last time we woke up with each other and fell asleep together. It's got to be before Christmas though...

I should have spent Thursday finishing of my history, in the end I spend less than an hour on my desperately important essay for a few games of Medal of Honor with Marc and Iain. Today I headed up to Nottingham for my second interview, everything went ok, I was completely grilled in my interview but I still got an offer so I'm not fussed. I was back about 7.00, but have sat and wasted a perfectly good Friday night away. Because the cars in the garage I couldn't get Emma to bring her over so she went out to have fun down the pub. I really could have done with a night in chatting with her, oh well maybe next week.

Tomorrow is a Saturday, I should, No, I have to finish my essay! I'm so unmotivated and undirected the moment, everything is a hassle and I just can't be arsed. I was hoping that visiting these uni's might spark of something, kick me up the arse and get some work done, but I have no drive and I'm not sure what to do about it, I guess its only something I can deal with. Claires 3 hours away at the moment and I can still feel fed up by her, even after Wednesday was so fantastic. I can't even remember what sparked it of, something I thought bout earlier. I'm tired so I've not been in the best of moods today, mum kept commenting how quiet I was in the car... Lethargic...

Only things worth living for, innocence and magic...

Our day together at Southwold.

The smoke has clouded your eyes...

Well here is my post from exactly this time last year... Its amazing how life changes and people move on...

Lights will guide you home...

And when you find it you'll keep it ...

Right well Alex has asked me, actually told me, actually forced me, held me down and hit me with various blunt instruments, to blog! I'm just watching the last few minutes of the great film 'Green Mile', probably not the best thing to watch if you want to write an up beat, feel good post... and I'm not going to try.
Its early in the morning and I've got plenty of things I need sleep for. One being the severe hyperthermia I gained while canoing in the miserable rain today, the other is for the numorous university interviews I have coming up very shortly, the first being on Tuesday the 14th, valentines day. I didn't realize the significance of the 14th when I got the interview date, but Claire and mum soon reminded me. Its probably because I've never had anyone to think about on valentines day before, every year it slipped past me as a uninteresting mundane day. I'll read my post from last February 14th now and just see how different life is.

Night time I guess...

Tempers of the world Dragging you down...

At the moment I'm very unsure in myself and the decisions in making and have made. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, if I've got involved in the wrong thing. I'm constantly worried, and stressed with many things playing on my mind... The one who should make me feel secure seems increasingly distant an indifferent. I can't help myself from questioning everything and its really getting to me, I don't know whether I just need some early nights or something a bit more direct.

Well I'm now awake at 1:00 am again and going to try and get some shut eye... and see what the day brings.