Suppose it stands to reason...

I haven’t blogged for a while, not really sure why, perhaps it's of too much work, busy with other things, or just I’ve just not been in the mood. I'm sitting in the computer room at school again, I feel quite ill, maybe more fatigued than ill... I'm still in quite a bad mood since this morning; it really did thoroughly piss me off. Today although it hasn't dragged it’s been slow, just moped on like the dreary weather we've got today. I have a test next lesson that I really don't feel like attempting, not due to the fact I will fail, but I can't even keep my eyes focused on a specific point for more than 10 seconds. I want to go home and sit with some music on and just mull everything over. I have so many things I could be doing but I just don't feel like them, I’ve finally decided I’m going to do chemistry at uni what ever, just need to find six uni's that I can get in with my predicted grades. Finally going for this decision is mainly down to my mother, Sunday night we we're talking about what I was going to do and she was telling me how unmotivated and undirected I’d become. "You used to be so motivated, and now in the last few months you've just lost your drive". She's right though I have lost my enthusiasm and 'get-up-and-go', why? I don't know, as I got to the end of last year I got to the point of always doing as little as I needed and now this year it’s even worse, I want to do well but I have to many other distractions and things to occupy my time... It's not Claire, well I’d hope its not, I do spend a lot of my spare time with her and I’m doing things with her when I know I should be working. But cadets take a lot of my time and just life at home doesn't help.... I'm just making excuses now, I really have got to pull my finger out, I hope now I know what course I’m doing I can sort that out quickly and get on with improving my grades.